Say It Right, Get What You Want!

Speaker: MALINI SIVAPATHA SUNDARAM
C&L Manual Speech #2 - Organise Your Speech
Title: "Power Phrases - Say It Right, Get What You Want!"
Evaluator: Sham Sunder, CTM

Emily found a job that she really wanted in a doctor’s office. It didn’t last very long. The doctor was very unkind in his words. He would say, “What kind of an idiot are you? My dog can do a better job than you can.”

Emily quit her job after two weeks. Mary who took over from Emily loved her job and she loved her boss! She taught him early on how to treat her.

When the doctor said, “What kind of an idiot are you”, she said, “When you say ‘what kinda idiot are you? – I get confused and actually make more mistakes. I need for you to support me when I make mistakes.”

When the doctor said, “My dog can do a better than you can.” she said, “I find that remark very insulting. I am a professional and I do expect to be treated as one.”

Mary taught the doctor how to treat her from the very first day and he listened.

Ladies and gentlemen, in the same vein, I am sure that many of us can relate incidences where you wished you had said the right thing. For example, speaking up when your boss volunteers your department for yet another project, etc.

Meryl Runion, in her book, Power Phrases, advocates that one should not just speak but Speak Strong! Use Power Phrases – winning words that get you what you want!

The six key tenets to using power phrases as prescribed by Meryl Runion are:

1. Power phrases are short

2. Power phrases are specific

3. Power phrases are targeted

4. Power phrases say what you mean

5. Power phrases mean what you say

6. Power phrases are not mean when you say them

1. Power phrases are short

The Lord’s Prayer is only 56 words long; the Ten Commandments are only 297 words long and Abraham Lincoln’s Gettysburg address was 226 words long. Do you think these speeches / messages would have been any more powerful if these were longer?

Key point – be brief.

2. Power phrases are specific

Power phrases are short – but specific – i.e. convey the key points.

“How do you want your steak?” the waitress asked? “Well done”. The steak was cooked beyond recognition and was not edible

The answers were indeed short – but not specific. The diner had an inedible steak because he did not say:- “ I want it cooked just until the pink disappears””

Be specific – the power is in the details.

3. Power phrases are targeted

Stephen Covey calls it ‘beginning with the end in mind”. Think of what outcome you want; ask yourself what path of action will get you there. The questions that you can ask yourself before making the comment / giving the message are:

® Will this remark increase their respect of me or lessen it?

® Will these words move us towards resolution or away from it?

® If I say this, will it increase the changes of me getting what I want or decrease it?

4. Power phrases Say What You Mean

Do not lose the truth in your message. When you do that you lose authenticity – without authenticity, you have no power.

So – ask yourself, what do you really mean? When you ask a co worker:

“I wish I didn’t have to go to this meeting alone”, was that what you meant – or did you mean: “Please come to the meeting with me”

You have to ask yourself – what do I really mean? Find this out by asking yourself 3 simple questions:

® What do I think?

® What do I feel?

® What do I want?

Speak the simple truth

5. Power phrases Mean what you say

People respect those who do what they say. If you don’t respect your own words, do not expect others to do so.

Avoid saying “I’ll be there at 3.00 pm” and then show up at 4.00 pm

Never promise what you can’t deliver and never agree to something you have no intention of doing. Take your words seriously so other people will.

6. Don’t be Mean when you Say it

Power phrases respect the other person, even if that person is not respecting you. You can, must let people know what you think, feel WITHOUT attributing blame!

For example -

instead of saying:

You are vicious, say I am offended by your remark

You are not making any sense at all, say I don’t understand

You are not paying attention, say I don’t feel heard

Thus, speak strong without being mean when you say it.

Ladies and gentlemen, the six tenets of power phrases are:

1. Power phrases are short

2. Power phrases are specific

3. Power phrases are targeted

4. Power phrases say what you mean

5. Power phrases mean what you say

6. Power phrases are not mean when you say them

Speak strong and you will get what you want.

I leave you with a phrase from Mark Twain:

“The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter:- it’s the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning”.